Addictions ruin lives and destroy family. What can you do to help when someone you love is out of control?
February 7, 2012 in Uncategorized
One of the hardest things in the world is to watch someone that you love struggle in the claws of an addiction. I have seen both sides of the fight now, and vividly remember my loved ones trying so hard to “make me stop,” or make me see. No one could tell me anything. I had to come to the ends of myself.
It isn’t true that everyone has to hit “rock bottom,” but I think everyone has to come to the end of themselves. The pain must finally be greater than the gain. In the mean time don’t continue to let the addict lie to themselves. Though not liars are all addicts, all addicts are liars. You cannot help support a lie. I would also recommend you read and learn everything you can about addiction. It is a family illness, and you aren’t alone. There are local Al-Anon and Nar-Anon near you. It takes a lot of strength to sit back and watch the people you love suffer from the consequences of their own actions.
We think we can break free from the bondage by changing the behavior, so what do you do when you can’t change the behavior?
When I first tried to clean up my act, I would really decide that this time was for real. This was my last mess up; this was my last time using. Sometimes I could even go for a few weeks… I adamantly told my family, “This is it for real this time, I’m finally through.” And I meant it, every time. And we began to dance in this routine of remorse, guilt, failure, and shame. Relapse was expected. How could I ever break free? I was trapped in behaviors that I sincerely wanted to stop.
Once you or your addict reach the point of surrender, and give up, seek help a HopeQuest.
