Wrapping up the 25th Year. Sober and Free

One of my favorite Rilo Kiley songs says”Being allone is like drinkin’ of takin’ drugs. And I quit ‘em all, but man was it rough.” When Jenny Lewis sings, “but man was it rough,” wherever I am when I hear this line, I burst out AMEN. Man, was it rough. To say the least, this also makes me laugh, how nonchalantly she sings it.

After coming out of a spiritually intense environment, I am now living in a women’s transitional living house. I have managed to get to 7 months sober January 8, 2012. And seeing as how today is my would-be-6-Year wedding anniversary, I think I am doing alright.

For this Buskowskish quarter-of-a-Centurion, this hasn’t been an easy road to recovery. People give you all this advice when you are younger, and it sounds nice and logical, but there are a few of us that scoff, and tease, and think to ourselves “Just because that life didn’t work for you, it is going to work for me. So we rebel, against everything.

I found myself barely alive and there actually was this dark tint on everything. My despair was having physical effects on my body, including my eyesight.

Somehow I was able to turn off this fight against the system, tuck my tail between my legs and abided by the TREK rules for 3 months. I was then patted on the shoulder and sent off into the real world, and I am like “wait a minute, it isn’t nice like in there?”

It’s a cruel world, but there has to be someway that others can live and not be shitheads, and the coolest thing happened. The women’s transition house overseer’s name is Nya S. Jacobs. An activist of love. It pours out off her, shines off her head in every direction, and yes, I want what she has. She got it, and she lives well. This love makes her one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. She is sincere, genuine and goofy. A teacher, before I was barely alive, and now I am learning how to live well.

It still feels strange, I often find myself more like an alien than ever. Which is cool, because I have read many others document their feelings of meitokis. (Which is the Greek word for a stranger in a foreign land.)

One minute I was dangling on a ladder, actually as it was falling over for me to land, being impaled by a 75-foot spike. That is how fast my life was going downhill. Terrible choices leading to more terrible choices, and why didn’t I listen?

I want others to get help too. If I can, you can too!

When I was drunk, I was useless. However, I managed to write myself into a blur. The entire years of my drunkenness, I was practicing the discipline of writing. Now sober, I should be writing more than ever. This weekend I was sorta falling apart, but then I went to a meeting where the Guy said, “what is it you love to do the most?” Mine is to write, and I will say I have been so busy since I got out, that I have been neglecting this vital part of my life. This blog a continued accounts of recovery from different folks, and how they got out. The people I have seen succeed are the ones that have things to do they are passionate about. What is your passion?

The art of making tea, has been such a helpful tool. Something about this meditation of drinks. Afterall, I did have a drinking problem. So I have replaced the bottle with hot tea. All kinds of teas, and they are great for your body. (More about tea here.)

This also holds true for cooking, and hell, I even started baking. Neither of which I knew anything about, but Nya is teaching me these fundamentals. I was living fundamentally workng, and this is a woman living WELL. Her life is full of relationships, people who love and care for her. I tend to push people away, I think a lot of us do.

I barely escaped. This is such a real adventure, I had to capture the details on wrinkly old scraps of paper. Anything I can get my hands on. I want to write on everything. And I have so many places to go.

I chose my 25th year to walk down recovery road. This is perhaps one of my most important chapters in my life. Yet, I have been far away from doing what it is I love to do the most, writing. I managed to write myself into a blur all the years I was drunk and high, a sad attempt at the end of my memoir that was unintelligible. What I thought was the end was actually the beginning. When I was drunk , even though I was useless, I wrote. I fell asleep several nights with a pen and paper as my bed companions, and yes this means I paid with many bursted pens ruining sheets and dresses. I wrote then much more than I do now.

Now, everything feels so strange. it is I have escaped the fires of Hell, yet I barely escaped, burned tho, scorched from the flames. Such an adventure with the darkenss, yet I have been neglectful at recording these new tales.

The 12 (Modified) Steps

(As Modified by Twelve2Life to carry biblical and relational foundation, not to mistaken as a cure for addiction but a guide to honest relationship with God, others and myself. )

Step 1
I admitted I am powerless over my human condition that my life has become unmanageable. (I Can’t)

Step 2
I came to believe that a power greater than I am can restore me to Truth. (He Can)

Step 3
I turned my will and my life over to the care of God. (I’m gonna let Him)

Step 4
I made a searching and courageous inventory of sin & hurt and the strengths & abilities in my life and identified the emotional impact of each.

Step 5
I admitted to God, to myself and to other trusted friends the exact nature of my wrong behavior, beliefs, and thoughts while acknowledging my God given strengths and talents

Step 6
I became entirely ready for God to remove my self-protective strategies of coping and sinful behaviors.

Step 7
I humbly asked God to remove these self-reliant beliefs and behaviors.

Step 8
I made a list of all persons I have harmed or who have harmed me and became willing to make amends with them all.

Step 9
I made direct amends to such people whenever possible offering apology and forgiveness except when to do so would injure them or others

Step 10
I continued to take a personal inventory and when I was wrong or have been wronged by others I promptly admitted it.

Step 11
I sought through prayer and scripture to improve my relationship with God, praying for the knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry it out.

Step 12
Having been released from shame and the penalty of sin, and believing that I am loved and accepted, I will carry this message of freedom to others and I will practice these principles throughout my life.

GOD IS IN THE REDEMPTION BUSINESS

Because recovery is possible and lives change when people get the help they need.

Every single one of us knows people affected by the evil dragons of addictions. This place helps people struggling with all kinds of addictions, and works to encourage, restore, heal, and rewire people’s brains to have successful recovery and abundant lives.

We are all created to love and to be loved, yet we live in a difficult, broken world, and life is painful. You are not alone. Hope is real, and help is real.

Hope is Real.
 In 2011 there was an estimated 20 million people who needed treatment for substance abuse, yet only 3 million sought help. For the ones who choose Recovery Road, it takes a large group of people to support them and help fight the dragons of addictions. I had the honor to get to go to HopeQuest, a driven team of people, fueled by love. This place is dedicated to helping heal the hurting so people can achieve their dreams.

My name is Jessica Holdbrooks. I am 25 years old, and my life was saved since going through the TREK program at HopeQuest. 

Most people trapped in the snares of addictions are people like you. Respectable members of society, successful career folks, people with families. Your neighbor, doctor, preacher, teacher, or government official. Not what you think of when you hear the word “addict.” People get stuck in false beliefs about themselves, feeling isolated, as if they are the only one. Stigmas in our society further the lies and keep them trapped. It takes a mighty act of courage to seek help, and this is why places like HopeQuest are so important. There is healing in the power of human connection, brutal honestly and a safe place. Life is too short and too great an adventure to settle for anything less than wondrous!

The root of addictions isn’t the substance, but the shame